After years of living in fear and one abusive relationship after another, I begun a journey in finding true healing for my wounded self by turning the broken things into miracles.
It has been a struggle for me to say NO and that led me to compromise my well-being. I had suffered from abuse and abandonment throughout my childhood so I became approval-dependent to cover my fear. By saying YES to so many things-impossible expectations, I let others put on me-left me feeling sacrificial, guilty, and tired. Plus, It always left me thinking, "You didn't do enough." It was never good enough for me.
About a month ago, I made a friend at a local gym. After talking quantum physics and spirituality for almost an hour, this friend attempted to kiss me on the cheek. I found myself kindly saying, "too much for me." This is where I had to set healthy boundaries and space. You are not required to apologize for setting up boundaries.
After years of seeking external approval, I found it was only masking my divine self-worth. The more we depend on others to feel good, the faster we crash coming down from a temporary high of imaginary self-worth. The need for others approval, brings guilt and shame. So after being honest with myself and recognizing I needed my own approval more this brought a ton of relief. When I can train my mind and heart to love myself first then loving others in a healthy way is easier. It is not necessary to feel good about yourself by getting approval from others.
Stay thankful even when setting boundaries. It is not considered selfish to take care of yourself and you don't owe anyone justification for it. If you find yourself trapped in a spiral of people pleasing YES answers at the expense of your well-being, gently and compassionately free yourself from it and get internal guidance. Is there someone or some place consistently taking advantage of your willingness to serve? Are you crossing your own boundaries to fit in? It takes wisdom to meet others needs. Doing this in our own strength will only tire us out. We don't need to control everything. We can rely on the One who knows.
