It was late and he was thinking about her again and how he wished he could change the time. But he knew all too well that gut wrenching pain deep inside. Did I choose this he thought? As the memories fluttered and enveloped his psyche that constant aching feeling became a bit numb. His stomach grumbled again, his mind racing. Does your circumstance seem familiar to a friend? Does my longing to grasp onto a distant yet unreachable and wishful thought help me go forward? His heart held but also being strengthened. A story within a story, within a story. This story of love. I know. He thought.
It was 11:57 as she felt that tugging at her heart again. Her long lost friend, that was all she was allowed to call him out loud. She was broken, not because she fell for him but because he was silent. She knew his disappointments, his regrets, his pain. It was all too familiar again, extremely close to her but yet not close enough. It gnawed at her as she attempted to avoid
the sting of it. That thought of, it was her he wanted and me he left and It was her he loved, again. Him running away from her and her running after him.
That undying love you wish was breakable. The torment of distance and the waiting that seemed to never end. They all said, let him go but not one of them understood the journey, how far the distance and the similarity. And that Love has no boundaries and Let no man separate....She knew his secrets, the things he was afraid to utter. What she didn't know is how much he loved her, he didn't say a word but she loved him back anyway. She remembered that day in the parking lot, his sun glasses shading his soul. Oh how I wanted to stop time and step outside. I thought. All she wanted was change. Her heart trying to bypass all her vulnerable mistakes she made just before she woke up. Doesn't he know how much he's loved? She thought as she brushed the tears away. Maybe he would rather I let him go though he would never admit it. How much longer can I bear the anguish of separation ? She winced at the pain because she knew the answer to that question seven years later. So she went back to what she knew best, waiting,...in the garden. But this time, fight for me, she said. Something the world will never understand.
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Friday, April 24, 2015
Pages
Grown, pressed, handcrafted, and created. A seed planted, watered, and given light. Pages born bearing the weight of the seasons. Walking through I saw on my right a burden of perfection and to my left a settlement of sin. I plowed through my scattered dreams and my broken heart told me lift up your feet.
The pages left bitter Q's and earth stinging B's. I tossed aside the slavery of grammar and broke the chains of definition and meaning only to be comforted by what was hidden outside the pages.
I noticed my torn and bruised feet that brought me through the muck and mire of the lashing and beating of words. As the salt filled ocean of tears flooded my eyes, I saw them fall bringing healing to my cuts and open wounds. I longed to turn the pages but my inquisitive and curious mind bound me and love compelled me, finish the pages.
Slowing down my intake of each letter and word only causing more of a pain in my side, I didn't dare read aloud. A heavy beating in my heart hoping for a game of hide and seek in these pages.
The plot thickened and the earth spun and the universe held in its place. The heavens stretched across the span with burning bright stars giving their light for a day. Beyond the pages, I saw a vast and distant mountain with many hills as it crumbled and fell into the midst of the sea only to give room for the sun shining down on me.
A rainbow hung high stretched across above me as a circle hidden below like a promise never broken. A reminder that I can still see the colors formed from the reflection of light passing through me. Oh radiant pages how you have brought toil for the ground and healing in your wings, no longer scorched by the heat.
My feet hidden under the waves of deflection as the sand moved between my toes. I clenched to the rock that held my balance as the pull from the current brushed violently below, failing miserably to drown me. The waves receded and I lifted my feet, turned around and kept going. Oh these pages of life, what beauty and what grief. I choose to keep going, leaving the old bittersweet pages behind me.
The pages left bitter Q's and earth stinging B's. I tossed aside the slavery of grammar and broke the chains of definition and meaning only to be comforted by what was hidden outside the pages.
I noticed my torn and bruised feet that brought me through the muck and mire of the lashing and beating of words. As the salt filled ocean of tears flooded my eyes, I saw them fall bringing healing to my cuts and open wounds. I longed to turn the pages but my inquisitive and curious mind bound me and love compelled me, finish the pages.
Slowing down my intake of each letter and word only causing more of a pain in my side, I didn't dare read aloud. A heavy beating in my heart hoping for a game of hide and seek in these pages.
The plot thickened and the earth spun and the universe held in its place. The heavens stretched across the span with burning bright stars giving their light for a day. Beyond the pages, I saw a vast and distant mountain with many hills as it crumbled and fell into the midst of the sea only to give room for the sun shining down on me.
A rainbow hung high stretched across above me as a circle hidden below like a promise never broken. A reminder that I can still see the colors formed from the reflection of light passing through me. Oh radiant pages how you have brought toil for the ground and healing in your wings, no longer scorched by the heat.
My feet hidden under the waves of deflection as the sand moved between my toes. I clenched to the rock that held my balance as the pull from the current brushed violently below, failing miserably to drown me. The waves receded and I lifted my feet, turned around and kept going. Oh these pages of life, what beauty and what grief. I choose to keep going, leaving the old bittersweet pages behind me.
Thursday, April 2, 2015
My People
The moment when you realize you know you're alive. The place you found
yourself betrayed, alone, and set aside. The time when you understand that previous command
you knew and now this time well in over your head. That place when you discover you know
the king is converSing, with another on the best way to handle it. In this, I paused,
I stopped for a breath, remembering my thoughts, "Changing the world is my occupation"
But I also remembered this, your words are powerful. But I was sent for this.
As I drove in my car, the thoughts flooding my intellect, as I clench to my sanity. It's when it all came down to me and you try, to keep up grasping to each piece, holding tight, longing for release. Holding each treasure. But was it? Treasure, I mean...the urgency that puts you in a place where you no longer have to think about what to write or say and it doesn't even matter how it sounds you just need to get it down, in time, racing for the finish line. I want you to recognize what it feels like, to change the world, if I only knew. I would have lived in a quiet village somewhere minding my own business but who knew, one doesn't get here that way. Right. You get here by going to hell and back, literally. I don't mean struggles and trials unending miles, your life, that's been done here before right? I'm talking literally falling, or should I say, crawling, to your knees, pleading.
I was a truth seeker and a law breaker, though I loved music and anything artistic. It wasn't that it was hard for me to finish a project, but that each time I attempted, I just got distracted along the way, the universe was calling my name. I couldn't see myself doing just one thing, quantum possibility and divine intervention, I wanted to venture out, spread my wings, like I said before, I'm in too deep.
Life works in a mystery that is true but even the things hidden will come to the light. And, because of the day and hour we are in, I have to leave my fingerprint on this planet, before exiting. You see this isn't about a legacy or being in a book or even vengeance, It's about speaking for those who cannot speak for themselves, who tried to make it and didn't. This one's for you. My earthly father overdosed on medication and I had no clue, at the time. It wasn't because he had a chemical imbalance or the fact that he was so artistic and talented, this is what happens when your heart comes undone and you have nothing left. See his mind puffed up and his heart grew cold but in his last breath, he was smack faced with death. But I guarantee you, the earth quaked and the sun turned black but only for a moment and the cloud took aback as the sky acquired a new star.
This place where you really don't have time for pros and cons, you know it's just a matter of time. Not a thought of will this happen if I do this or do that but rather if I don't, who will? You know it's too much when your whole life has been one crazy story after another and now in this last hour, or should I say few months, the story doesn't end. This story of life and death, and blood and heroism, truth and deception, freedom and slavery, power and poverty, love and hate, and the sky splits and we see the light, And...
When you know, the world is falling, crumbling, but you know that there is a whole other world out there and if possible this isn't the end of all humanity, someone needs to know beyond a great tragedy, the great deception. "Even the elect could be deceived if that were possible." Is it possible, that all this time no one else had time to speak or stand or maybe it just wasn't the plan, my people enslaved here, my people enslaved there...my people.
I saw the stages and their greatness, biggest ones in the world. Speaking their words to me, trying so hard to lure me with their flattering words there "Come, be all you were meant to be and underneath their words, were swords, and silver coins and a kiss on the cheek with thousand dollar suits and ten thousand auditorium seats.
Did my people truly believe their silence would be enough or even be ignored? The ungodly remark flailing from my lips, "Why was I even born?" A darkness so dark and deception binding the minds and hearts of men, enslaved by their institutions. Break Free! My people, break free. The truth isn't a perception, my freedom at best and when you find it, peace rests.
I wanted to shout aloud, yes he came to save me but where I saw peace there was a sword. But then it came to me, could it be? He loved me! This beautiful man, carrying his water can. He died for me they said. He came to set us free. The only one I ever loved. How can this be? As I looked in a crystal sea, I saw a mirror image of me. This beautiful and great mystery. My people, break free!
As I drove in my car, the thoughts flooding my intellect, as I clench to my sanity. It's when it all came down to me and you try, to keep up grasping to each piece, holding tight, longing for release. Holding each treasure. But was it? Treasure, I mean...the urgency that puts you in a place where you no longer have to think about what to write or say and it doesn't even matter how it sounds you just need to get it down, in time, racing for the finish line. I want you to recognize what it feels like, to change the world, if I only knew. I would have lived in a quiet village somewhere minding my own business but who knew, one doesn't get here that way. Right. You get here by going to hell and back, literally. I don't mean struggles and trials unending miles, your life, that's been done here before right? I'm talking literally falling, or should I say, crawling, to your knees, pleading.
I was a truth seeker and a law breaker, though I loved music and anything artistic. It wasn't that it was hard for me to finish a project, but that each time I attempted, I just got distracted along the way, the universe was calling my name. I couldn't see myself doing just one thing, quantum possibility and divine intervention, I wanted to venture out, spread my wings, like I said before, I'm in too deep.
Life works in a mystery that is true but even the things hidden will come to the light. And, because of the day and hour we are in, I have to leave my fingerprint on this planet, before exiting. You see this isn't about a legacy or being in a book or even vengeance, It's about speaking for those who cannot speak for themselves, who tried to make it and didn't. This one's for you. My earthly father overdosed on medication and I had no clue, at the time. It wasn't because he had a chemical imbalance or the fact that he was so artistic and talented, this is what happens when your heart comes undone and you have nothing left. See his mind puffed up and his heart grew cold but in his last breath, he was smack faced with death. But I guarantee you, the earth quaked and the sun turned black but only for a moment and the cloud took aback as the sky acquired a new star.
This place where you really don't have time for pros and cons, you know it's just a matter of time. Not a thought of will this happen if I do this or do that but rather if I don't, who will? You know it's too much when your whole life has been one crazy story after another and now in this last hour, or should I say few months, the story doesn't end. This story of life and death, and blood and heroism, truth and deception, freedom and slavery, power and poverty, love and hate, and the sky splits and we see the light, And...
When you know, the world is falling, crumbling, but you know that there is a whole other world out there and if possible this isn't the end of all humanity, someone needs to know beyond a great tragedy, the great deception. "Even the elect could be deceived if that were possible." Is it possible, that all this time no one else had time to speak or stand or maybe it just wasn't the plan, my people enslaved here, my people enslaved there...my people.
I saw the stages and their greatness, biggest ones in the world. Speaking their words to me, trying so hard to lure me with their flattering words there "Come, be all you were meant to be and underneath their words, were swords, and silver coins and a kiss on the cheek with thousand dollar suits and ten thousand auditorium seats.
Did my people truly believe their silence would be enough or even be ignored? The ungodly remark flailing from my lips, "Why was I even born?" A darkness so dark and deception binding the minds and hearts of men, enslaved by their institutions. Break Free! My people, break free. The truth isn't a perception, my freedom at best and when you find it, peace rests.
I wanted to shout aloud, yes he came to save me but where I saw peace there was a sword. But then it came to me, could it be? He loved me! This beautiful man, carrying his water can. He died for me they said. He came to set us free. The only one I ever loved. How can this be? As I looked in a crystal sea, I saw a mirror image of me. This beautiful and great mystery. My people, break free!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)