Puzzle Pieces

The city lights flashed as tourists quickly walked along the strip. Even so, it was dark, cold, and empty on the streets at night. I don’t know what was worse; the fear that kept my stomach in knots, my aching feet, or the sound of horns that came from the cars that drove by. No, it was probably the car waiting up ahead on the next street with the gun on the passenger seat. It’s pretty amazing what you can remember when you try…

I clenched my blanket in the dark and covered my face. I didn’t want to see the spiders falling on me. The downstairs was big but not that big where I slept alone. Well, not completely alone, everyone else slept upstairs. "Please don’t come in here again," I thought. Night after night, I wondered why my mother couldn’t hear me crying.

I walked slowly up the dark staircase to my father’s flat above the old antique art shop. The door of his place looked like a castle in a dream that he created. It cried of the most creative yet dark filled place. I opened the door to see a table filled with emptied medicine bottles and the shape of where his body had laid in the sheets of his bed. The inside walls empty with the structure transparent for anyone to see. I saw my picture hanging in the midst of the art covering the walls.

After seeing a dragon and it fleeing from me, I was brought into a spacious place where I floated for hours it seemed. I was completely filled with love as it shot through my body and out of my hands. I could see the earth from a distance. I’m still unsure of the white rings or waves surrounding it. I saw the layers of colors as I came back into my flesh and my eyes could see clearly. As I looked into the eyes of a stranger, I saw her story and she wept as I held her face in my hands. My face tingled for hours afterward and I couldn’t speak for three days.

The line was long and it was cold as I waited with excitement to dance for hours. I could hear the bass from the music playing inside. Finally, I entered with my turtle backpack, candy necklace, and pacifier around my neck. It was like one big family of lost children trying to have fun; looking for love. I looked into their eyes and I could see just about everything. I gave them a hug and then danced the night away.

It felt good as I repeatedly lifted off of my bed but it startled me as I felt the bumps on the ceiling. I realized I had better get back or I might not be able to find my way. Suddenly, my eyes opened and fear stared at me; no movement, just waiting, and not one blink. That cold, gray flesh was looking me dead in the face. Upside down, about an inch away, I knew what I saw was real but it wasn’t until I touched it that I became full of fear.

It was a sunny summer day as I pulled into his parking lot. I stood halfway out of my car as he walked nervously toward the mailbox with his sun glasses on and a smile. I was stopped dead in my tracks and time. My heart knew that it would never be the same again. Then you stole my heart and I came back to retrieve it but you wouldn't give it back. And, I died that day as I drove away and you went and married her.

As I fell upon my pillow, I cried out for my love. He came like the wind to my rescue and I could feel Him breathing on my face. I was met with such a tangible presence, that my pillow laid flat beside my head. This good fear forced me to cry out more. As the winds blow, the only thing I fear now is losing Him.

I sit alone in this room filled with people. Like a father he speaks parallels and songs of a story…my story. How does he know my life? Why are they scared to look at me? I want to hold each one and tell them how beautiful they are but I’m invisible. And so, one at a time. I smile through the rain that blurs my vision. The silence causes my ears to ring and I shudder to believe that this story is about me.

So many more pieces, it could take years to put together. So many new songs stuck in my head. It’s amazing all the things God can help you forget, heal and deliver you from, forgive, and bring back to memory without fear or pain. He is so remarkable that there aren’t enough words and so I sing from a place that burns within me and groans for release.

Once Upon A Dream

The tree limbs danced in the gentle breeze and love was in the air. The young beauty frequently escaped her fortress to scamper throughout the countryside and inhale the sweet bouquet of life itself. As she ran with enthusiasm away from the castle doors with liberty in her wings to sing and dance, the sun stretched its arms across the blue with might. An infinite ocean of radiant emeralds was as far as the eye could see.

She stopped unexpectedly for her eyes came upon the most remarkable purple flower that stood isolated in the vast field, encircling her. She was mesmerized by its beauty as she had never seen such a flower as this. She felt pure delight and peace as she sat down to embrace the loveliness in her midst. Hesitant to pick the flower, she considered how wonderful it would grace her castle. But then she also knew if she did, the flower would certainly die.

Gradually, she closed her eyes to feel the heat of the sun beaming on her face but suddenly her soul began to feel heaviness from the world. Fear crept in and she realized that beauty could be taken in an instant. Looking up toward the heavens, a storm emerged almost instantly as she observed a host of black clouds inhaling the blue sky. Not being able to stand it any longer, she pulled the flower from its root and raised it to her face. But before she could take a deep breath to enjoy its fragrance, she lost all her senses, and fell to the ground.

The castle was sinister, the fire scorching up through each fracture in the stone flooring. It was blistering, scarcely any air to breathe. I discovered my wrists and ankles bound with shackles to the ground. At first, I wanted to yell out but I couldn’t even speak. Then I heard voices shrieking with horror and for some reason I wasn’t a bit frightened. All that my eyes were taking In should have scared me to death. I wasn’t sure how I got there.

I glanced down at my bare feet and there stood the purple flower, wilted, broken, almost no life left. The more I gazed at the flower, the more I became filled with sorrow. I felt such distress, for it was my selfishness that took that flower from its home. I had no consideration for myself in chains, only that poor purple flower laying now in the dust of the floor to die. Oh how I wished to be back in the field of emeralds, running endlessly with the sun on my face, breathing once again. All of a sudden, I heard a cunning and familiar voice shout, “Yes, it is your fault, you have taken the life of that flower!” I looked up into the darkness but I couldn’t spot anyone. Then I heard laughing and I felt so humiliated because I was naked in chains. Oh where are you my love?

The dark clouds wept all night long as the wind wrestled against the trees and shook the threshold aggressively. The young warrior awoke from a dream. He promptly sat up as a single tear fell from his eye and his strong hand seized it by force before it could even reach his cheek. A gentle whisper said, “You have what it takes, I am your strength.” He stared out the windowpane through the rainfall and could see past the mountains and questioned how quickly he could get there. Boldly, he got dressed putting on his belt and shoes. Sighing genuinely with a lovesick groan, he opened the door and peered in the direction of the unknown; giving no attention to what he was leaving behind. He saddled his horse and swiftly leaped on. With his protective guard up and his blade readily accessible, then positioning his hat, he raced against the storm.